Enjoy The Moment

I originally wrote this for a blog called The CKC Moms. It's a group of women I thankfully met when I first became pregnant. And even though it was just through the internet, they kept me sane all that time and well into new motherhood. I wanted to re-post here because I feel it's something many moms can relate to, plus I just kind of like it. I hope you do, too.

I was recently talking with a friend who only has about a month to go until her baby is born. She was saying how uncomfortable she is, understandably, and how she would love the baby to come early. Instead of giving her a lecture about how it's best for babies to be born at 39 weeks, at least, I just told her, "Try to enjoy it." She looked at me like I was crazy. "How can I enjoy it when I'm so uncomfortable?" Again, understandably. But despite how difficult it may be to get around, the aches and pain she's feeling, the anxiousness and excitement to get labor started, this is a very fleeting time in a woman's life, though I know how it can feel like an eternity.

If you can put that uncomfortable state aside, many things will never be the same after your first child is born. I remember distinctly trying to soak in alone time at the end. My husband was off on his guy trip before the baby came, and I was home alone with the cat, watching movies, enjoying the peace and quiet. Having those moments will be few and far between from here on out. I also tried to enjoy the time alone with my husband. After the baby was born, I felt like we were just roommates for a while, trying to survive together. Taking care of a newborn leaves very little time for much else. I remember missing my husband as I was trying to navigate new motherhood. Things have evened out a bit, and now we can relax together after the baby is in bed, but we'll never be able to go back to how it was. My house will probably never be as tidy, my cat will never get as much affection as she used to, I won't be able to hang out with a friend at the last minute, and spontaneity has all but gone from my life.

Before I start to sound too bleak, the good news is, this new life is amazing. With its challenges, great joy has come. With its tears, unexplainable happiness. All I want to do now is hang out with my little family. Watching my child grow is one of the best things I could have ever hoped to experience.

I will never be pregnant with my first child again. I will never again have the "new parent" feeling. And if and when I get pregnant again, I will do my best to relish the time together as a family of three before we become a family of four. When I look back on the difficulties of the newborn stage, it's all a blur. I know it was tough, but here I am missing it at times. But it's taught me to enjoy the moments with my son, big or small, happy or sad, easy or tough and hopefully, I will always carry that with me.

The exciting life and times of a Mom

It's sort of ridiculous what makes me happy these days, aside from the obvious, like my son and husband. I ordered a new shower curtain on Amazon last night and I can't wait for it to come tomorrow. By the way, it's a boring, ol' clear shower curtain. I remember when C was a little baby, I "splurged" and bought this white, rubbery watch at Target. It made me sincerely happy. Ordering and buying toys is also a big hit for me. For my son, not so much. His reaction is hardly ever what I hope for when I present him with said gifts, but he's 8 months old, so I'll cut him some slack.

A few weeks ago, I went out sans baby to see my husband play in a couple bands. My friends were there, it was late, we were in a club. I felt a small semblance of who I was at one time. But, getting home and going to be very late, I still had to be up early. The baby does not care. And to be honest, as much fun as I was having, I still felt off. Obviously, my life has changed. The things that excite me has changed. My idea of fun has changed. I like me better now, and I like what I've learned being a mom so far, as short of a time that it's been. Being at home with my little family, going for walks and to the park, it is truly satisfying. And so are shower curtains.

Oh hai, blog. Sorry, didn't see you there.

I don't want to be the kind of person who thinks to herself, and is told by strangers/friends/family, "But you look good for just having a baby." Well, for one, he's 7 months old now, and two, I don't want to settle. I have given myself a break long enough and my body craves more activity. I'm not saying it isn't hard, because it is. Heck, I barely give this blog the time and attention it deserves and all I have to do is sit on my rump and type.

As cliche as it may be, I'm going to (have started) Couch to 5K. I actually attempted it a couple years ago, got fairly far into the program, then got a nasty illness that kicked my butt for a few weeks. I ended up stopping because I felt like I had to start over and well, I just didn't want to.

This time, instead of having to write out the walking and jogging intervals on a scrap of paper and paying close attention to the clock, there is a beautiful iPhone app that I can use. I can listen to my music and it gently prompts me to run or walk. Fabulous. Of course, I'm already feeling somewhat discouraged because the very next day after completing Week 1, Day 1, I got sick. But, I'm not going to let that deter me this time. I felt so much better after that first day alone, and I think I can truly commit to three days a week. I also have a great group of gals who are going to keep me accountable, and even if I don't lose a pound, I know I'm better off for doing it.

Boundaries!

Being a new mom in the age of social media is definitely interesting. It's a sort of struggle to not completely saturate my friends' news feeds with photos of my son. Admittedly, I still do from time to time, but I've been trying to cut back. One thing I've always liked about Facebook was how easy it is to share pictures with my family, especially since they are all over the U.S. When Canon was born, and with the aid of my trusty iPhone, it was even easier to show them pictures of how he was growing and what he was getting into each day. Sometimes, I need a reality check, because as beautiful and wonderful as my child is, it doesn't mean everyone on Facebook wants or needs to see pictures of him constantly. They don't need me to update on poop and gas and feedings and how horrible it is when you have a bad night's sleep.

There is a really funny and popular blog called, STFU Parents that helps me keep things in perspective. I am not at all offended by this as a parent. I don't remember there being any contract that I signed where I had to become an overindulgent, over-sharing, boundary-less person once my child was born. Of course, I have my moments, but I really try not to post the running internal dialogue that goes through my head every moment of each day.

So, dear parents, please know that your child is indeed special, but on Facebook and other similar sites, we don't need to know what is happening with your child's every waking moment. The best thing to do, is to find other parents in the same boat, and share these thoughts together. Get them off your chest and keep them off of Facebook.

Baby's Favorite Things!

Seeing as how I've done a "Kitty's Favorite Things" post, it seems only fair that I do a "Baby's Favorite Things" post as well. Canon is a couple weeks shy of 7 months old and I can't believe what he's getting into these days. I have the urge to buy him a new toy at least once a week to keep up with his seemingly overnight developments! Here are a few things that he's really digging on these days:

Skip Hop Hug & Hide Owl
This was actually given to me by a customer at work when I was still pregnant. It was so sweet of her and her little girl to think of me. I put the toy away for a while, obviously, until Canon was old enough to start enjoying it. This owl really incites a lot of giggles, and that's never a bad thing! Plus, the fact that there are yummy owl wings to chew on is a big hit.

Tiny Love Take-Along Arch
This arch is amazing and it can be attached to virtually anything--car seat, stroller, Rock 'N Play, Bumbo, etc. It's a great price for something that has so many uses and a long "shelf life," if you will. Canon lights up when he sees this thing and I bought it months ago! It also was a lifesaver on our long, ten-hour road trip.

Bright Starts Bounce Bounce Baby Activity Zone
I chose this exersaucer because it was slim due to the fact that my living room is quite small and I hate clutter. So many jumpers/bouncers and exersaucers come with a lot of bells and whistles, almost looking like spaceships, which I'm sure babies love, but this one has just enough. I remember the day I was sitting in amazement as my baby entertained himself for a good 20 minutes. It's not the most elaborate item in the world, but I'm able to attach other toys to it and it keeps him busy. It also wasn't too expensive, as I just could not pay upwards of $100+ for an activity center. I'm happy to report this one works out just fine for us!

Autumn Cleaning?

As we face another year in our cozy, but somewhat small and lacking storage space, townhouse, I'm ready to get down and dirty making improvements wherever I can.

Growing up, my Mom loved (okay, maybe not "loved", but certainly knew it was necessary) to do deep cleans in our house and put away summer clothes to make way for winter, and vice versa. She also knew that sometimes to make things better, you had to tear everything apart, and she would often reorganize entire rooms in a day. This has definitely rubbed off on me, and since I had a baby in the Spring, a true Spring cleaning didn't really happen. Yesterday, I began to tackle our kitchen -- pulling items that I no longer use to sell or give away, cleaning the fridge, organizing my cookbooks. I'm only about halfway done and I already feel like I can breathe a little better. I hope to do room by room in the next few days, and with the aid of Pinterest (which I'm just now "getting" for some reason), I hope to maximize the space we have.

With holidays coming up, and a few visitors already making plans to stay here, I think it will make things that much more inviting and warm, which is what this coming season is all about!

Time to Bake!

Yeesh, between working a few extra hours, a sick baby and then a sick me, this blog has been sorely neglected. I'm feeling a bit better today and shirked a little responsibility to do something I really enjoy: baking!

Since C was born, I haven't had a ton of time or energy for this, until recently. As my husband pointed out, it is a fun and rather inexpensive hobby for me to have. Sure, the baby weight might come off a little more slowly, but I really enjoy having a cup of coffee and a baked good in the morning. It's something that I really look forward to. I decided today that I'm going to build up my pantry a little better so that pretty much whatever I'm in the mood to bake, I'll ensure I have the ingredients to do so. Today, I plopped my son in the exersaucer and got to work on these applesauce muffins. They came out really yummy and I'll be making these again!

Here are some handy tips to keeping your muffins from turning into mush.


Another recipe that I've made twice so far in the past few weeks is this carrot cake recipe from the Playing House blog. It's amazing and you can't go wrong with copious amounts of cream cheese frosting. My husband has requested this every week. That won't happen, but it's definitely in the rotation. Carrots are healthy, right?

I won't be entering pies into the State Fair contest anytime soon, but for now, I'm enjoying my little hobby and eating well because of it!

To Hem or Not to Hem

I seriously have the blues when it comes to jeans (pun intended). I'm barely 5'1", so even when I buy "petite" or "short", they are never short enough. The only exception are Calvin Klein Jeans in a 27" inseam. But gone are the days when I can spend more than $20 on a pair. Sigh.

I have rarely had the satisfaction of buying and wearing a pair of jeans on the same day. Hemming is always involved. Whether it's me doing a quick job hand-sewing, having my Mom do it for me with her sewing machine, or taking it to the tailor, it has to happen.

This is a great tutorial I found years ago and I'm glad to see it's still up as I ponder what to do with my new skinny Old Navy jeans, which were $15, by the way, and super comfy.

I'm really glad cuffing your jeans is a thing right now because that I can do right away. Between a cat who loves to attack my thread and a baby who needs to be entertained, I'm guessing I'll be cuffing a bit longer.

Labor Day!

Gosh, this is corny of me, but hanging out with my husband and baby on Labor Day, I couldn't help but think of my labor day, just about 6 months ago. It really was a great experience, and it's hard to imagine ever saying that after going through during labor and delivery.

It's painful, it's difficult, it's long, but that old cliche of all that sort of washing away once you see your baby's face is true. And that would definitely explain why women choose to do it again and again.

I feel incredibly fortunate that I was caught off guard, rather than having to go past my due date, anxiously awaiting my boy's arrival. My water broke 8 days before my due date and our baby was born exactly one week before my due date. From the time I checked into the hospital until Canon was born, it was just about 12 hours, which was not bad at all for a first-timer. The doctor and nurse that were primarily assigned to me were wonderful, and next thing I knew, I was a Momma.

I'm not exactly ready to relive the experience, but I am glad that I can look back on it with a fondness, because I know not every woman can. It was the hardest thing and the best thing I've ever done and you can officially add me to the group of women who would say, "Totally worth it."

This pretty much sums it up.

Dear Kitty

Dear Kitty,

I know things have not been the same since the baby was born, but please hear me out. I've come up with some terms that I think you'll find agreeable. Hopefully, we can all live happily ever after.

I promise to remember to clean your litter box more often, if you promise to try not to poop right outside of it in protest.

I promise to keep the Temptations treats in stock, if you promise to not scratch the baby's door while he's sleeping.

I promise to brush and pet you often, if you promise to keep hunting bugs.

I promise to give you a lick of ice cream from time to time, if you promise not to barf it up at 3am.

I promise not to make you an "outdoor cat," if you promise not to stand on top of me while I'm sleeping.

It's been an adjustment, Kitty, but we still love you. Let's stay together.

Now, I understand

A few months back, this excellent blog post was circling the interwebz. It really did wonders, I think, to bridge the gap between parents and non-parents who read it.

You come to a point in your life (most likely, 20s and 30s) where everyone around you is pregnant and starting families. Since we waited so long to have a baby, I now have friends whose children are almost teens! As a non-parent, you may feel pushed aside. Even people you were very close to have seemingly forgotten you.

Now, I understand.

Becoming a parent instantly changes you, whether you like it or not. Things you held as a top priority go flying out the window. Nothing now is as important as taking care of this child and making him/her happy. Even a solid marriage can take a hit if one isn't careful. It's just.so.much.

We can coexist. And 5 months in, I can tell you that relationships begin to blossom again. Plans are made and there are grandmothers willing to watch the baby for a date night/girl's night/guy's night. I know my husband and I often take turns watching C so that we can still have a semblance of our old life and partake in things that interested us pre-baby and still do post-baby.

I will do my best from now on when those around me have children to support and encourage, because it's one of the hardest tasks to take on. I will bring meals, come by to have adult interaction, hold the baby so Mom can shower.

Because now, I understand.

Why Cats Paint - Revisited

I was digging around on my bookshelf the other day looking for something when I came across "Why Cats Paint," a book my Mom gave me a few years back.

I actually posted about it on my tumblr site, but I feel the need to share this picture again. I laid the book out for Kitty and this was her response:

Here is a link if you are interested in purchasing it:  Why Cats Paint

It's brilliant.

Random Thoughts Thursday

1.) When your cat poops on the floor, it's probably time to clean the litter box. (Sorry, Kitty)

2.) When you're hoping your gut means you're pregnant again when you have a 5-month-old, it's probably time to start up that workout routine you've abandoned.

Kitty's Favorite Things

Okay, so it may not be as exciting as Oprah's Favorite Things, but Kitty deserves a shout-out. She's been putting up with a lot lately (many visitors, then we were gone for a few days, letting C "pet" her now that he knows she exists). So, this post is in honor of Kitty and her favorite things. Maybe your cat will like them, too.

This may be more like one of my favorite things, but I'm pretty sure Kitty enjoys it, too (as long as I remember to clean the box!). This was recommended by a friend and I order it on Amazon and use Prime shipping. Hallelujah for not having to lug a huge box of litter through the store anymore! There isn't much dust and I really don't smell a thing. Love it.

My husband is really into geocaching. If you don't know what this is, it's basically like a treasure hunt for adults. He came upon a cache that contained this product. Kitty loves it! I've included a picture of her using the string like dental floss. She also loves to lick the bag part and then run around the house like a maniac.

Temptations treats are an absolute must in our household. If Kitty hears anything that mimics the packaging of these treats, she comes running. She will even meow me all the way to the cupboard where I hide them until I relent into giving her some. She is bonkers for these things. I'm pretty convinced that if I poured an entire bag on a plate, she would eat them all, and then beg me for more.

A lot has changed around here, much to Kitty's chagrin. She's been a trooper, though, and we try to make sure we still spoil her here and there. She must know I'm writing about her because she's under my feet as I type. What does your cat love?

Getting To Know You

I was having a conversation with my sister recently about the expectations of how you will feel when you first have a baby. You hear stories, or see in the movies, that once that baby is born, a mother exclaiming how in love she is. I don't doubt that this happens to some women, but for me, it just wasn't the case. Of course, I loved my child, but I was not in love immediately. To me, like any relationship--though obviously this one is unique--these things take time.

It turns out "mom guilt" happens pretty quickly after giving birth. You start to question if you're the only one who feels this way, the only one who mourns her old life just a little, the only one who would cut off her right arm for more than two hours of sleep. People ask you, "Don't you just love it?" "Isn't it amazing?" Of course it's amazing! This little being who grew and lived inside me for so long was finally here, it's unbelievably amazing. Why, then, do I not feel this way? Why do I miss being pregnant just a little? After talking with other moms, it seems this can be totally normal. Phew! There is so much to process when a baby is born -- a huge range of emotions. It can take time for things to level out and sleep deprivation can make you feel anything but in love and happy.

It turns out, though, my kid gets cuter and cuter each day. He laughs and giggles and smiles. I know that he loves my husband and I. He's trying to sit up and stand with our assistance. He loves toys and chewing and drools everywhere. He is always trying to put his entire hand in his mouth. He is independent but also cuddly. He is fairly easygoing, like his parents. He is awesome!

Instead of being sad that he is growing, though I'll admit, it's bittersweet putting those tiny clothes away, I'm excited! Each day, I fall more and more in love with him and love him with a love I never knew possible. Yesterday, I asked him, while he was cooing and babbling, "Are you real?!"

I just love getting to know him.

That Mom

Well, it's official. I'm one of "those" moms. I inundate my Facebook wall with photos and videos of this little, drooling 12-pound squish face. I talk about him any chance I get. I even go so far as offering more details of my birth story than most care to hear about. The thought of getting a tattoo with his name immediately crossed my mind. I get more excited about buying a toy or a new bottle or a cute outfit for him than pretty much anything else. I don't care anymore. I will deny myself anything and everything for this little guy. Also, he laughed at me today, so he gets what he wants from now until forever.

Survival

(originally posted March 2012)

I must have gone through 20+ episodes of the show, “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” in the past couple of weeks. I think it’s because I feel like I’ve been dropped in a jungle, with minimal survival skills, little food, and no sleep. And by “jungle” I mean, parenthood.

You may or may not know this, but they make you go through a series of hoops in the hospital after the baby is born. You need to satisfactorily show the staff that you are, indeed, somewhat capable of taking care of a child. There is zero rest to be had. Once you pass their tests, they cut you loose. And that’s it. Next thing you know, you’re home and attempting to figure out this child’s needs all on your own.

Sure, I’ve not been left for dead on Mount Everest, nor have I had to spend a month navigating the Amazon while battling starvation and malaria, but I do have to force myself out of bed every couple of hours, deny myself showers to take advantage of a nap, and feel somewhat like a hostage in my own home. Heck, brushing my teeth and eating something substantial I consider a luxury right now.

The good news is, my son is really cute, and he’s only going to be this little for a short time. I also try and think of it from his perspective - it sucks! He had a great thing going for 39 weeks, and now, he has to learn how to eat, manage sleep without feeling like he’s falling, and get his temperature taken rectally.

I might feel like we’ve been dropped into a jungle, but we’re figuring it out, and it helps to have a really great husband, who’s turning into a really great father.