Dear Kitty

Dear Kitty,

I know things have not been the same since the baby was born, but please hear me out. I've come up with some terms that I think you'll find agreeable. Hopefully, we can all live happily ever after.

I promise to remember to clean your litter box more often, if you promise to try not to poop right outside of it in protest.

I promise to keep the Temptations treats in stock, if you promise to not scratch the baby's door while he's sleeping.

I promise to brush and pet you often, if you promise to keep hunting bugs.

I promise to give you a lick of ice cream from time to time, if you promise not to barf it up at 3am.

I promise not to make you an "outdoor cat," if you promise not to stand on top of me while I'm sleeping.

It's been an adjustment, Kitty, but we still love you. Let's stay together.