"Friendly Fire"

As I sit here, trying to determine if I will be returning to work full-time, rather than continuing on doing 13 hours a week, I came across this article. I see tremendous value in being a working mom and being a stay at home mom, but arriving at your own decision on what to do is not always easy.

http://momastery.com/blog/2013/02/04/friendly-fire-3/

Get Into The Groove

Ack, my poor blog. It's been exactly two months since I've written. (I feel like I'm on a remote desert island writing to a loved one). I've been pretty uninspired with this blog and I know it's because I want it to have a new look, but tonight, I decided to bite the bullet and write a little bit at least.

It's hard to believe my son is over 10 months old. Right now, I'm trying to decide if we are having a birthday party, or maybe a family outing with a little bit of cake smashing, or something in between. To be honest, I feel like I deserve some kind of celebration for making it a year!

I really have come into my own with this motherhood thing. I've struggled with comparing myself to other moms, as most moms do, I'm sure, but lately, I know that I'm just the right mom for Canon, and he's just the right baby for me, and we're figuring it out together. Our days are pretty straighforward now and we've got a good routine down. We try and get out of the house at least once a day, since this little guy likes to move and crawl and climb and pull and it makes me a little batty since our house is not quite babyproofed. And by "not quite," I mean basically not at all.

Being a mom can be kind of lonely at times, and I'm trying to be better at branching out and getting together with friends and meeting new people. I have the basic cliche resolutions going on right now, like losing weight, eating better, etc. But, those things really do tend to matter more once you have a child. I realize more and more every day how I am his role model and how, even now, he is observing everything that I do.

I guess this post is kind of rambling, but I'm tired and my child is finally in bed and it's been a long, but good, day. Each new morning, he seems to have grown up a bit overnight, and I look forward to spending a new day with him. Each month that goes by, I've declared it my favorite age thus far, and I'm excited to see what the next year has in store.

Enjoy The Moment

I originally wrote this for a blog called The CKC Moms. It's a group of women I thankfully met when I first became pregnant. And even though it was just through the internet, they kept me sane all that time and well into new motherhood. I wanted to re-post here because I feel it's something many moms can relate to, plus I just kind of like it. I hope you do, too.

I was recently talking with a friend who only has about a month to go until her baby is born. She was saying how uncomfortable she is, understandably, and how she would love the baby to come early. Instead of giving her a lecture about how it's best for babies to be born at 39 weeks, at least, I just told her, "Try to enjoy it." She looked at me like I was crazy. "How can I enjoy it when I'm so uncomfortable?" Again, understandably. But despite how difficult it may be to get around, the aches and pain she's feeling, the anxiousness and excitement to get labor started, this is a very fleeting time in a woman's life, though I know how it can feel like an eternity.

If you can put that uncomfortable state aside, many things will never be the same after your first child is born. I remember distinctly trying to soak in alone time at the end. My husband was off on his guy trip before the baby came, and I was home alone with the cat, watching movies, enjoying the peace and quiet. Having those moments will be few and far between from here on out. I also tried to enjoy the time alone with my husband. After the baby was born, I felt like we were just roommates for a while, trying to survive together. Taking care of a newborn leaves very little time for much else. I remember missing my husband as I was trying to navigate new motherhood. Things have evened out a bit, and now we can relax together after the baby is in bed, but we'll never be able to go back to how it was. My house will probably never be as tidy, my cat will never get as much affection as she used to, I won't be able to hang out with a friend at the last minute, and spontaneity has all but gone from my life.

Before I start to sound too bleak, the good news is, this new life is amazing. With its challenges, great joy has come. With its tears, unexplainable happiness. All I want to do now is hang out with my little family. Watching my child grow is one of the best things I could have ever hoped to experience.

I will never be pregnant with my first child again. I will never again have the "new parent" feeling. And if and when I get pregnant again, I will do my best to relish the time together as a family of three before we become a family of four. When I look back on the difficulties of the newborn stage, it's all a blur. I know it was tough, but here I am missing it at times. But it's taught me to enjoy the moments with my son, big or small, happy or sad, easy or tough and hopefully, I will always carry that with me.

The exciting life and times of a Mom

It's sort of ridiculous what makes me happy these days, aside from the obvious, like my son and husband. I ordered a new shower curtain on Amazon last night and I can't wait for it to come tomorrow. By the way, it's a boring, ol' clear shower curtain. I remember when C was a little baby, I "splurged" and bought this white, rubbery watch at Target. It made me sincerely happy. Ordering and buying toys is also a big hit for me. For my son, not so much. His reaction is hardly ever what I hope for when I present him with said gifts, but he's 8 months old, so I'll cut him some slack.

A few weeks ago, I went out sans baby to see my husband play in a couple bands. My friends were there, it was late, we were in a club. I felt a small semblance of who I was at one time. But, getting home and going to be very late, I still had to be up early. The baby does not care. And to be honest, as much fun as I was having, I still felt off. Obviously, my life has changed. The things that excite me has changed. My idea of fun has changed. I like me better now, and I like what I've learned being a mom so far, as short of a time that it's been. Being at home with my little family, going for walks and to the park, it is truly satisfying. And so are shower curtains.

Oh hai, blog. Sorry, didn't see you there.

I don't want to be the kind of person who thinks to herself, and is told by strangers/friends/family, "But you look good for just having a baby." Well, for one, he's 7 months old now, and two, I don't want to settle. I have given myself a break long enough and my body craves more activity. I'm not saying it isn't hard, because it is. Heck, I barely give this blog the time and attention it deserves and all I have to do is sit on my rump and type.

As cliche as it may be, I'm going to (have started) Couch to 5K. I actually attempted it a couple years ago, got fairly far into the program, then got a nasty illness that kicked my butt for a few weeks. I ended up stopping because I felt like I had to start over and well, I just didn't want to.

This time, instead of having to write out the walking and jogging intervals on a scrap of paper and paying close attention to the clock, there is a beautiful iPhone app that I can use. I can listen to my music and it gently prompts me to run or walk. Fabulous. Of course, I'm already feeling somewhat discouraged because the very next day after completing Week 1, Day 1, I got sick. But, I'm not going to let that deter me this time. I felt so much better after that first day alone, and I think I can truly commit to three days a week. I also have a great group of gals who are going to keep me accountable, and even if I don't lose a pound, I know I'm better off for doing it.

Boundaries!

Being a new mom in the age of social media is definitely interesting. It's a sort of struggle to not completely saturate my friends' news feeds with photos of my son. Admittedly, I still do from time to time, but I've been trying to cut back. One thing I've always liked about Facebook was how easy it is to share pictures with my family, especially since they are all over the U.S. When Canon was born, and with the aid of my trusty iPhone, it was even easier to show them pictures of how he was growing and what he was getting into each day. Sometimes, I need a reality check, because as beautiful and wonderful as my child is, it doesn't mean everyone on Facebook wants or needs to see pictures of him constantly. They don't need me to update on poop and gas and feedings and how horrible it is when you have a bad night's sleep.

There is a really funny and popular blog called, STFU Parents that helps me keep things in perspective. I am not at all offended by this as a parent. I don't remember there being any contract that I signed where I had to become an overindulgent, over-sharing, boundary-less person once my child was born. Of course, I have my moments, but I really try not to post the running internal dialogue that goes through my head every moment of each day.

So, dear parents, please know that your child is indeed special, but on Facebook and other similar sites, we don't need to know what is happening with your child's every waking moment. The best thing to do, is to find other parents in the same boat, and share these thoughts together. Get them off your chest and keep them off of Facebook.

Baby's Favorite Things!

Seeing as how I've done a "Kitty's Favorite Things" post, it seems only fair that I do a "Baby's Favorite Things" post as well. Canon is a couple weeks shy of 7 months old and I can't believe what he's getting into these days. I have the urge to buy him a new toy at least once a week to keep up with his seemingly overnight developments! Here are a few things that he's really digging on these days:

Skip Hop Hug & Hide Owl
This was actually given to me by a customer at work when I was still pregnant. It was so sweet of her and her little girl to think of me. I put the toy away for a while, obviously, until Canon was old enough to start enjoying it. This owl really incites a lot of giggles, and that's never a bad thing! Plus, the fact that there are yummy owl wings to chew on is a big hit.

Tiny Love Take-Along Arch
This arch is amazing and it can be attached to virtually anything--car seat, stroller, Rock 'N Play, Bumbo, etc. It's a great price for something that has so many uses and a long "shelf life," if you will. Canon lights up when he sees this thing and I bought it months ago! It also was a lifesaver on our long, ten-hour road trip.

Bright Starts Bounce Bounce Baby Activity Zone
I chose this exersaucer because it was slim due to the fact that my living room is quite small and I hate clutter. So many jumpers/bouncers and exersaucers come with a lot of bells and whistles, almost looking like spaceships, which I'm sure babies love, but this one has just enough. I remember the day I was sitting in amazement as my baby entertained himself for a good 20 minutes. It's not the most elaborate item in the world, but I'm able to attach other toys to it and it keeps him busy. It also wasn't too expensive, as I just could not pay upwards of $100+ for an activity center. I'm happy to report this one works out just fine for us!